No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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