Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
