Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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