I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
