...so i touched it.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
