BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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