He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
