Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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