Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
