No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
