Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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