he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
