Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
