yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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