scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
