i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
