I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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