I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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