I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
