his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
