***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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