CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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