My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
