these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
