I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
