this just has baby written all over it
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Randomize
