Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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