Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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