Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
