So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
