I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
