And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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