The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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