the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
