mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize