All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
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