It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
