C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Randomize
