did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
