he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
