I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
