If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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