i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
