so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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