So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Come see our sink grown plant.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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