I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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