its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
