we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
