Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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