I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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