her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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