there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
