So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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