too bad you live with your parents still
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize