For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
