i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
