Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
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