weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize