The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
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