i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
vagina is talking i cant
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
