Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
