It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
