Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
