Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
