she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
