She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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