I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize