I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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