I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
