This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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