i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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