also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
